Forever Thirty-Five

Today, there is one more age counted on my life.

After today, I will be at forever 35, I think it is the most beautiful age of a woman. Also I promised to myself that no matter how many years will be added up to my life, maybe 75, 85 or 95…, spiritually I am 35.

Maybe it will be wonderred why I don’t want to stay at 25? (Yes, it is a younger and attractive age since it looks so fresh.). But after I had gone through 10 years from 25 to 35, I am very confident and happy to remain on the more mature and wise stage.

Recently I have been recalling the memory between last B-day till today, the most beautiful and bitter one happened on the same thing. Plus I also had understood something from it. That is the EGO.

It will be a life long practice that don’t be stuck by the EGO but stand out from it, free the SOUL.

All the BEST.

Birthday selfies since 2012

 

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An expat in Mumbai Memo 1

There must be some reason behind that we left our place and be the resident in an unfamiliar city. For me it is kind of romantic adventure, to live in a city which is extremely on the opposite of my homeland. Yes, it is my reason and sounds bit crazy. More than that,  I work for a company which 90% of staffs are Indian….I tell you, it is really crazy.

Here crazy is not a bad word, on the contrary, I defined it as a mood of challenge, positive and alteration. With the mood I started my crazy life in Mumbai from 11th of  July in 2016.

The first challenge is monsoon. Usually monsoon starts in June and stops in September. That means there are at least 4 months of rain. Personally I hate rain, not to mention it happens in summer. The wet and hot…humid. It doesn’t keep raining but usually rains suddenly and heavily. Thus the traffic becomes terrible and the road is sometimes flooded. And if at that moment there is no single vehicle you can call for giving you a ride, it would make you feel like in the hell.

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The best solution is wearing rain boots.

Honking is the unique one on the streets. Drivers honk the horn no matter it is hurry, alert, pushing or noticing. For me it became kind of meditation whenever I was walking on the road, just ignore all the mess and noise, only focus on my steps. And crossing the road which is without signals is always like a competition. There is no such word “courtesy” on the road, everything and every one are competing with speed and spunk.

Dust, Dust and Dust….it is everywhere: floor, bed, desk and of course including my body. I think it is because the condition of roads. Majority of the roads in Mumbai are not well maintained and dust fly with the running of vehicles.

It is worth to talk about the train, the most important part of the life of Mumbai residents. Most of the staffs take trains every day between home and office. There is no gate for checking the tickets and even no guards because there are very huge numbers of passenger in and out in the train station every day. The rate of tickets are cheap and affordable. And as the same, there is no such word of “courtesy” in the train. While getting on and off the train I feel like the competition again. Just be ready for fighting…stand stable and hold your bag tightly…and go go go!!!

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It is good that female have their own carriage.
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Passengers are always hurry to get on and off the train.

Well, so far you may only read my crazy life of challenge. And there are still many, interesting or not, Let me tell you next time.

-To Be Continued-

Mumbai-not just a stop of rove

There has been a rover living in my soul, my heart, my mind.

However, I am not only a rover any more when I walked out from Mumbai airport carrying two luggages filled with my staffs which are in a very small part of those I left in Taiwan. Yes, a very small part because my whole life, my memory, my families, my friends….are all be left behind the soul of a rover, my ego.

It has been more than two weeks passed since that humid day I was picked up and sent to the hotel, be tired but excited; be wondering but ready to explore. Since that day I am not a only a rover but also a resident in this city which I have been dreaming of.

The city which can’t even be compare with my native one: the city is mess, dusty, dirty, crowded, noisy….yes, can’t even be compare with my native one: the city is romantic,  lovely, kind, lush, active, easy….the city which has been waiting for me to do something and make my dream come true. Yet, what is the dream? Does it hide deeply inside of me and till now I even don’t find  what it is exactly calling me to do?

I am still wondering but somehow I feel there is something different inside. Most part of me is different. I smile for it is better than ever.

Life is definitely going to be normal, easy, or maybe it is without challenge when everything has been settled down. What else I can find for the rover inside?

Certainly it is my next,  keep going.

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酸黃瓜地球日記-我是我所認為的自由

其實我並不想一個人。

然而當我內心升起了一種渴望,我便開始憂慮那種不是一個人的時刻。

例如此時我想著出發去某些地方,在哪兒停留,遇上什麼樣的人,…這一切在我筆下的描繪,都充滿著美好的想像,一切都該是我一個人的夢,而不是兩個人的妥協。

有時候也想著兩個人的時光,大概是有著「什麼時候下班,上哪兒吃個飯,旅行,看場電影,逛街買個什麼東西」,這樣平凡的溫暖,在兩個人執起雙手的時候,格外踏實。

而我,而我到頭來卻可能仍舊是不願妥協的那一個叛徒,背離那一個看似完整,不容瑕疵的愛,靜靜享受自由的孤獨,讓願望在一個人的路上開展。

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酸黃瓜地球日記-我的年是什麼年

想著為即將逝去的2015做註記,想了好多天。今晚看到放在餐桌ㄧ方的碎片,也許就是我2015的代表。

大概很不長進吧?我想。大部分人的回顧,應該多少帶著點成就或是收穫,然而我的就是一個碎片,保有完整ㄧ顆心的碎片。

當我在12/30的這個時間點看著過去,覺得時光飛逝;但是在過去的時間裡看著未來,彷彿又覺得既緩慢且由不得人。

在2015的時光裡,愛別人太多,愛自己太少;無感的情境太多,關切的事情太少;空白的思緒太多,清楚的精神太少;出走的情緒太多,安定的腳步太少。可這由不得人的歲月仍得教妳好好地繼續看著走著關照著,任誰都要折服的。

單純地,是不再想回來,從那一個我到過的遠方。

即便一個嶄新的年度開啟之後。

酸黃瓜地球日記

G說,有一種關係叫做「互相吸引」建立在極具侵略性的行為之上;另外一種,叫做「相愛」,則是建立在「服從」之上:

In attraction, there is aggressiveness. In love, there is submission. 

為愛而服從,對我而言彷彿是更高層次的修煉,我從來不認為,基於愛的緣故,必須永遠考量「兩個人」的一切,這個字眼「submission 」更是令人旋繞再旋繞去玩味咀嚼其內蘊的意涵。

然而我承認此刻必須俯首稱臣的,是G對於「愛」這一門學問,長久以來的練習跟奉獻,因爲此,我得以總是任性不顧後果,三番兩次喧鬧怪譎,讓自己逞強夠了之後,永遠有一種柔軟的聲音,一環溫暖的懷抱,一個站在咫尺之外的身影,讓出了時間跟空間,等著我,雨過天青。

除了頷首微笑,我已無從細說我的,如何幸運。

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酸黃瓜地球日記-回家

經過了36個小時,漫長的候機,搭機過程,終於回到家。

回到台灣,桃園機場的人性化設計:一出關就有手推車可以用,我在印度有些機場,必須找一會才找得到手推車,電子感應護照,只花了30秒就通關了…,接下來,國光號在中山北路上奔馳,望著晚間的車燈路燈,整齊乾淨的道路,茂盛的行道樹,心想台北真的是一個值得驕傲的都市。

昨晚還是很不爭氣在德里機場旅館待了6個小時,花了4,500盧比,有床,有浴室,有無線網路…,淋了熱水澡,有吹風機可以用,還有高品質的沐浴品….真的很不爭氣的感覺自己很滿足終於回到了「現代」的世界,放上一張心滿意足的照片:

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以上所言的設施,對我們而言,就是再平常不過的生活必需品,然而在印度的Srinagar & Gulmarg:民宿的無線網路龜速(Gulmarg甚至沒有無線網路),電熱水器必須等加熱,想要洗一個熱水澡需要等超過一個小時,不像日本或是西方先進國家,家中或是飯店有安裝暖氣,這些地方是沒有暖氣的,房間裡只有電熱毯。Srinagar固定上午6:00~7:00跟晚間18:00~19:00停電; Gulmarg更慘:不定時停電,床舖棉被不知被多少人用過沒洗(但是這部分我不責怪,畢竟資源實在很缺乏,無法像大都市一樣,能夠有完善的清洗工廠,在Srinagar遇到一個俄羅斯籍的男孩,他說他使用自行攜帶的睡袋,我認為這主意不錯,下回可以比照),馬桶蓋上還有殘餘尿漬,在飯店大廳,親眼看見小老鼠從我的眼前跑過去…..,這些在當下都考驗著「隨遇而安」的修養。

在Gulmarg的雪場,特地為我的「戰鞋」拍照留念,畢竟它陪著我跑好多地方:Varanasi,Delhi,Jaipur,Jodhpur,Srinagar,Gulmarg….,在雪地裡竟然讓我全身而退,沒摔倒也沒弄濕,真是一雙好鞋啊~~~

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