The love of middle age

When we were young, and we were in love. We didn’t care much about the rest around us. We just loved happily, innocently. We shared such simple, tiny things; we talked about our daily matters which became nothing years later we looked back to the past, maturely.

And we grew up, started to love in terms of the marriage. Or maybe the consideration of careers, finance, positions, families, etc. We looked for the one who would match our plan of life, we hoped to have that one who was the right person for us to step into the next stage of life.

Till then, life might divided into different lines: we might not be able to find the right one during our whole life; we might get married and live happily. Or we might have another different result which we separated from the one once we thought he/she was the only one till the end, but that was not like what we hoped.

So, it came to my life, the third line.

Is it unfortunately, or on the contrary I could start the all new life?

I have been having a very free spiritual life style after my age of 31: work hard, live hard, play hard. The craziness of short term relationship was equal to the happiness of long term relationship, I made both. Just let my soul fly to wherever it could reach, the farest. My love flew toward the people I loved, and measured how much I could give.

“One day, I would feel tired with it”.

I knew that day has come, at my middle age, as soon as I met T who looks like a slovely artist: T-shirt, short, slippers, big beard, curly long hair, an old back bag and a shabby yellow bike. It was the first time we met each other. It was so called: the first dating, but what impressed me was the way T looked upon our first dating as a normal, simple one by showing me the real he.

It has been a long life journey. We have our life experiences no matter it is hurting or not, I believe we have both. They are long enough for us to return to the simple with our scars. On this stage, we merely focus on what really mean to us: family, health, true friendship and life.

My reflections on T, at the middle age, make me keep my mind to deeply think about “The Individual”. We can no longer behave like the teenagers. We hardly to share those simple, tiny or funny matters in our daily life because we didn’t see it anymore. For T, life is full with responsibilities in reality which continuously remind him not to rely on but to be independent. That is the individual, both of us shall be. Though how I wish that we rely on each other and share those simple, tiny and funny matters if we could ever find it.

In the relationship, what if we take everything out of us, let it be unique to each other? Strip off the career, the position, the wealth, the background of family, the religions, etc. Could it be possible that we love each other without rest of conditions but only with extremely simple hearts and souls? In this concept our ego moves down beneath our feet. We could rather wish to give than to take, rather want to care about the happiness of another than himself. We could rather respect than request, could rather tolerate than argue.

Back to the point, every individual has the choice which shall be very clear in the mind. At the same time, the choice itself shall be as bright as the mirror reflects on us. That is the love of middle age, mature.

coffee culture

 

Continue reading “The love of middle age”

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Started the raining Sunday with Indie Pop , R&B/Soul

Hectic weekdays ended up with an awesome Friday home party. No doubt that Saturday was for cleaning up the house, then I woke up without an alarm in the cloudy Sunday morning. Interesting that I found a website yesterday: bandcamp introduces plenty of songs which are various forms of music. For me it looks like treasure in the box.

One of the most beautiful things to do on the raining Sunday is being ready to spend all of the time on MUSIC.

I love the form of music young scum presents in this album:

ethnic expressions impressed on me with the free spirit in the music:

The voice: Dwight James & The Royals

 

An Expat In Mumbai-Anniversary II

It is going to end up two years of my settlement in Mumbai. Recently I have been asking a question to myself: Onward, what are you going to do and looking for?

Recalled the memory of two years back, the moment when I decided to shift to Mumbai, left my families, my sons, my everything…I was happy and sad, full with hope and worry. Remembered my tears in Bangkok airport, heart was torn because of a mother’s love to her sons.

I am truly grateful for my sons’ understanding and support, their independence makes me feel released from my concern and be little comfortable through knowing they are doing well. And there is no less gratitude to my families for their endless love. Because of the truly blessed love I am here following the voice of my heart, pursuing the one, the dream, the peace, the destination.

Look back the past year in India, definitely the friendship has been fundamentally supporting me with both life and work. I got respond at any single moment whenever I need consultation or clarification. More than that it gave me the warmth at the moment when I felt down.

Secondly, traveling is always in the prior priority of my mind. It has been fulfilling my life with so much stunning beauty, so much rich outcome which was from the mistakes.

And of course the LOVE, yes it is the thing which can either break me or build me, which I have been practicing to do in a way most of people didn’t understand.

In the past year, a heart broken separation with V who made me happy whenever I saw him or heard from him. Once I loved and it seemed there would be no regret and end.

And here is T, the one who is now like a sky full of stars I am gazing at with whole of my heart. The one I feel like I have been knowing him for long. For now, we never know where the destination will be, but we know and promise ourselves that we are always capable and willing to make it.

Here is a lyric of a song:

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.

It is exactly reflecting my life and my desire.

With my gratefulness to every good and bad, I have an answer in my mind for what am I going to do and looking for.

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An expat in Mumbai_Anniversary I

Forever Thirty-Five

Today, there is one more age counted on my life.

After today, I will be at forever 35, I think it is the most beautiful age of a woman. Also I promised to myself that no matter how many years will be added up to my life, maybe 75, 85 or 95…, spiritually I am 35.

Maybe it will be wonderred why I don’t want to stay at 25? (Yes, it is a younger and attractive age since it looks so fresh.). But after I had gone through 10 years from 25 to 35, I am very confident and happy to remain on the more mature and wise stage.

Recently I have been recalling the memory between last B-day till today, the most beautiful and bitter one happened on the same thing. Plus I also had understood something from it. That is the EGO.

It will be a life long practice that don’t be stuck by the EGO but stand out from it, free the SOUL.

All the BEST.

Birthday selfies since 2012

 

An expat in Mumbai Memo 2

In Mumbai, the most popular transportation is the train. Of course there are some other choices like: Uber, Ola, private cars, rickshaws….., however if we don’t want to stuck in the traffic train is always the first choice.

It is just like the lifeline of Mumbai residents. From my location, I usually take Western Line which is one of four lines of Mumbai Suburban Railway.

The Western Line is about 100 kilometers and supports with 35 stops, from northern to southern.

Recently I found something interesting with the Western Line, the reason is just like pushing someone out of the comfort-room and go toward the living in Mumbai. That person is myself only, since I decided not to stay in the room or just be active around my apartment on every weekend, instead I want to hug this wild place, join the crowd, sweating, smelling….

I recorded every stops of Western Line. Every weekend I select one stop randomly, put it on google map, see what’s new or fun around this station. Walk to the train station, get into the train, drop at that station, open facebook check in function….then find the most popularly check in place and…. go.

I found lot of fun through it. And every place is new for me. Usually there is a market close to station, many stuff I can find and of course including side road food stalls which I can find cheap but yammy Indian daily food.

There is a station Lower Parel, 21 kilometers away from my place. In one side there are traditional market, food stalls, poor people lives on the roadside of flyover; on the other side there are luxury malls, hotel, bars, restaurants, movie theater.

It was very nice to spend Saturday night time among those places. See what I had found this weekend:

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The sweet shop, on the sideroad near Lower Parel station. Sweet exists in the soul of Indian.
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I took this picture on the flyover, after I passed the slum area. It looks so old.
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@Blindspot, the rock band.
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The traditional market. I always love those stalls and people.
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The live show. Very impressive.
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The mall, it is much smaller than Palladium mall.
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Way to Palladium mall. The luxury hotel St. Regis is just next to the mall.
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Walk down from the flyover there are modern buildings. The slum area is just behind of me.
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It is late at around 23:00 in the night, in the first class cabinet for ladies, thus it is quite empty. But I don’t understand why this lady is sitting rather on the ground than on the seat.
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The babar shop. Such kind of shop is very popular in India. Simple.

孟買工作雜記之二

印度有一個網站,專供上班族評價自己的公司。今天收到這個網站的郵件,有兩則新的評價,針對我工作的公司,很可惜這兩個評價都是「差勁」,只給一顆星。

平心而論,他們說得沒錯,這公司的確在很多地方很差勁,不過,今天我不講差勁的話題。

換個角度看,這家公司營運了14年,客戶遍及全世界,每天都有源源不絕的稿件來自世界各地,上傳,報價,收款,交付,除卻它差勁的地方,它生存的關鍵在哪裡?我認為,在一個企業裡工作,其重點不在窮其力去追究它差勁的地方,因為我們無力改變它,然而,我們卻有機會去觀察,是取法它成功的關鍵,成為一個學習的過程。

有時候我會幫HR跟在台灣遠端面試的新人聊聊,通常我會問他們:「你來這兒工作,圖的是什麼?」,若這個答案是現實合乎現況的,那麼我絕對鼓勵這些目標明確的人來這裡鍛鍊,而我接觸過的,大約有一半的人最終放棄,起因於工作環境的差異,薪資水平的差異,稅制的不明確,制度不夠完善….等。

對我而言,這個工作的內容,遠遠較之前的經歷,簡單太多,不忙,不煩,不急….之於我游刃有餘; 但是,行銷資源不足,無法與客戶面對面溝通,銷售模式難以改變…等因素,是困難也是挑戰,就業務面而言,將現有資源極大化,進而擴大市場,創造營業額,成為我最棒的功課。

在這一家被評「差勁」的公司工作,活的順順的,並不是等著資源被奉上,而是以實際行動去爭取,這是我認為這家公司很棒的地方,只要你開口,去溝通,去計畫,去行動,去驗證,去說服,沒有人會反對或是不支持,這是一個練功的好地方。

「你圖的是什麼?」這個答案在我心裡也很合乎現實跟明確,所以目前為止我還活得順順的。

未來我也會給這家公司一個公允的評價。

 

 

孟買工作雜記之一

今天我想隨性寫寫我工作所在的印度公司,一些雜記。

這已經是第十個月,在幾乎全是印度人的環境工作,該怎麼述說我的感受呢?其實我想寫這個雜記想了一段時間,但是一直不知道該怎麼下筆。

我想引發我今晚著手寫的起因,是今天早上我進到辦公室,發現靠近我的一整排同事都搬走了,當下我好Sad,因為好不容易上週跟坐在我正後方的男生建立起友誼,結果這週他就搬走了。

我要先說這男生有一個非常好聽的名字:伽譚雅,在印度文是快樂的意思。

在公司裡,要建立同事間的情誼不容易,首先是在管理上,對於員工的工時控管很嚴謹,而業務部門尤其冷酷無情(我們有一套專門管理業務的系統,所有工作績效一覽無遺,每天打幾通電話,發幾封信,建立多少客戶,開幾場會議,發出多少報價,成交多少訂單,簽了幾張合約,輸了幾個案子….全部攤開),因此沒有太多時間交流情感。另外,也許是印度文化使然,公司的印度同事對於外國人的接受度普遍不高,當同事可以,當朋友需要很下功夫…,而我特別懶特別挑也特別沒時間,因此結交的印度朋友不多。於是,當伽譚雅搬走,我真的很Sad,他教我印度話才教了兩天,而且我挺喜歡他的說。

目前為止,在工作上對我衝擊最大的,應該是普遍存在的「光說不練」。印度人很會講話,長篇大論,遠大理想目標很多,但是時間一久,就發現其實聽聽就好,真正重要的事,還是得自己盯緊。管理階級,政治把戲的技巧不少,如何讓自己居功諉過,這藝術是這裡生存最高指導原則。外國人呢,抱歉,主管位置不會給外國人,我不清楚其他印度公司的文化,至少這裡是這樣。

即便如此,我還是說一下開心的事,嗯…我想一下,大概是同事教我印度話吧?我曾經自己利用線上的印度語學習網站,我發現單方的練習很難有動機,進步很慢。然而同事教我,經由對話跟糾錯,並且隨便找人都可以練習,學習的速度很快; 有時候我也教印度同事一些有的沒的台灣話或是國語(例如北七跟肖誒)。另外,大概就是喝到飽的咖啡跟茶; 還有我的印度英語聽力進步神速啦。

這裡還有一個特別的地方,就是辦公室不能吃東西,所有的早午晚餐或是下午茶,都在Pantry進行,Pantry位置不多,但是由於工時控管很嚴,大家普遍都是吃完就走,因此「翻桌率」很快。有時候遇到Pantry搶搶滾的時候,其實也挺有趣的,可以跟不少人打打招呼,或是坐下來一起吃飯。印度人的吃飯時間很不一樣,早餐11點,午餐下午3點,奶茶時間上午11點/下午5點,晚餐通常都是晚上8~9點以後的事。(難怪印度人普遍大肚子,因為他們吃飽就睡了)。跟西方人一樣,他們晚上不洗澡,早上才洗澡。

再來就是無止境的零食跟甜食,最近公司擴增了一部零食飲料販賣機,生意興隆,販賣機公司的人,幾乎每天都來補貨。

還有一件事,印度女生不太重視公共衛生….這一點從公司洗手間髒亂的程度可以應證。

最後,我一定要說我練就了對於小蟑螂視而不見的功夫,即便咖啡機總是有小蟑螂竄來竄去,本人照喝不誤,這也算是一種修養上的收穫嗎?哈哈哈….

-待續-