When we were young, and we were in love. We didn’t care much about the rest around us. We just loved happily, innocently. We shared such simple, tiny things; we talked about our daily matters which became nothing years later we looked back to the past, maturely.
And we grew up, started to love in terms of the marriage. Or maybe the consideration of careers, finance, positions, families, etc. We looked for the one who would match our plan of life, we hoped to have that one who was the right person for us to step into the next stage of life.
Till then, life might divided into different lines: we might not be able to find the right one during our whole life; we might get married and live happily. Or we might have another different result which we separated from the one once we thought he/she was the only one till the end, but that was not like what we hoped.
So, it came to my life, the third line.
Is it unfortunately, or on the contrary I could start the all new life?
I have been having a very free spiritual life style after my age of 31: work hard, live hard, play hard. The craziness of short term relationship was equal to the happiness of long term relationship, I made both. Just let my soul fly to wherever it could reach, the farest. My love flew toward the people I loved, and measured how much I could give.
“One day, I would feel tired with it”.
I knew that day has come, at my middle age, as soon as I met T who looks like a slovenly artist: T-shirt, short, slippers, big beard, curly long hair, an old back bag and a shabby yellow bike. It was the first time we met each other. It was so called: the first dating, but what impressed me was the way T looked upon our first dating as a normal, simple one by showing me the real he.
It has been a long life journey. We have our life experiences no matter it is hurting or not, I believe we have both. They are long enough for us to return to the simple with our scars. On this stage, we merely focus on what really mean to us: family, health, true friendship and life.
My reflections on T, at the middle age, make me keep my mind to deeply think about “The Individual”. We can no longer behave like the teenagers. We hardly to share those simple, tiny or funny matters in our daily life because we didn’t see it anymore. For T, life is full with responsibilities in reality which continuously remind him not to rely on but to be independent. That is the individual, both of us shall be. Though how I wish that we rely on each other and share those simple, tiny and funny matters if we could ever find it.
In the relationship, what if we take everything out of us, let it be unique to each other? Strip off the career, the position, the wealth, the background of family, the religions, etc. Could it be possible that we love each other without rest of conditions but only with extremely simple hearts and souls? In this concept our ego moves down beneath our feet. We could rather wish to give than to take, rather want to care about the happiness of another than himself. We could rather respect than request, could rather tolerate than argue.
Back to the point, every individual has the choice which shall be very clear in the mind. At the same time, the choice itself shall be as bright as the mirror reflects on us. That is the love of middle age, mature.